bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
