Nicole vs. Life
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
