Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
