He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
