yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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