y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
