I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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