Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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