I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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