oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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