He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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