I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
