Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
