these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
