That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
