Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
