distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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