sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
