Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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