and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
