Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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