If i come over, it means nothing
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
