May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
