Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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