Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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