Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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