i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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