Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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