:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize