i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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