So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
