Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
