If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
