I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize