We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize