i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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