Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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