Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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