Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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