He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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