Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
