In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
