Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
it's like heaven, but drunker
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
