yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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