His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
