just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
