I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
