So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
