I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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