Quick, to the slutcave!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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