Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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