I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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