one two three fourrrrnication!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it's great music for shaving your balls
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think people are normalizing furries
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
