break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
