bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize