I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
