So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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