he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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